Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Changes.

WTF. I had totally forgotten about this old thing. The only reason I came back was because I was starting up a different blog and suddenly remembered I still had this one. Dang. I just went back and re-read through all my old posts as a teenager and almost couldn't believe it. I started this blog FIVE FREAKING YEARS AGO (albeit, it hasn't been updated for the past 2 years).

Couldn't help but noticed that so much has changed.

I look at myself now and wonder, what happened to that awkward girl who just loved books? That girl that suffered with so much depression throughout her teenage years? That girl who spent so much time sitting in her room and crying all the time? All of that is a mere memory now.

And I know that relatively, a few years isn't really that long. Granted, I am still a bit awkward and my love of books is still somewhat there (when I actually have the time to spend reading them). But still, I have come a very long way. So, a few updates of my life, just for this old blog's sake......

You already know that I'm in college now. I will be entering my third year, and about to apply to be a doctoral candidate (PharmD to be exact). Planning to apply to pharmacy school in the fall; I'm super excited and super nervous at the same time. I work pretty much full time while also going to school, but still somehow managed to squeeze in time for my sanity. Sometimes. My grades are not too great, but my resume is spectacular. I drive my own car and pay all the expenses for it. I am almost completely financially independent (except for the tuition part, which my parents pay). I do whatever I want and nobody can tell me that I can't do it.

But most importantly, I am a well grounded young woman. I'm learning something new every day and this thirst for learning and knowledge is not going to be quenched any time soon (which I guess makes it a good thing that I'll be in school seemingly forever). I have no limits; I'm open minded, and my foundation is sturdy.

And I am so proud of who I am and what I've become (and what I will be).

And if only that 16-year-old me knew, even a little bit, of what I am now, I imagine she would be proud of me too.

Not that I am successful in life, but that I have a firm foundation and I know who I am. And I won't take crap from anyone who says otherwise.

Who knew that the awkward, depressed girl would turn out this way? I didn't. If I could go back as myself now, I would tell her that things would get a lot better for her. And over the next few years she would experience so much growth and maturity. I still can't believe those were my posts that I just read through.

Even though I am who I am now, there is still that small part of me that is embodied in this past. I can't forget it, and that sad girl is still a part of who I am. What an unexpected nostalgic surprise, stumbling across this blog again.

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