New Years?

Jan. 1st, 2009 at 3:42 PM

uhh yeahh...like the title says. happy new year? well I spent most of my remaining PEACEFUL winter break mainly doing 3 things: read, eat, and sleep. and play piano. so there you have it - 4 things. i've been feeling unnaturally depressed lately, so all i did was stuff that made me forget stuff, or took me out of reality. I've always loved reading. Reading stuff I liked, and not boring useless school-issued stuff. That was without doubt. I find that a good exciting book takes me away from whatever troubles, only the sad thing is that it's only temporary. weird....livejournal doesn't let you use the TAB button to indent - i had to press the spacebar a number of times. so anyway, i went through about 2 full-length novels a day (not the 90-page flimsy books). I actually just now finished re-reading GOOSE CHASE by Patrice Kindl. I got kind of angry that she fell for the IDIOT prince who pretty much ruined all their chances for survival earlier in the book. IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT!!! sorry, I just get very into these books. I've also eaten alot. That is to say, I've eaten mainly a lot of junk food. At this point i dont' really care about getting fat. It's only disappointing for a second, because i don't want to care about anythign right now. I wear pj's every day for the whole day and snack on what i want and do whatever i want. I'm loving it. Too bad it's all going to end soon when school creeps back. I might regret eating so much then. MAYBE. ehh maybe not so much XD I wish it was summer, so I could spend every day like this, because I'm in no mood to do any work or anything related to it. I am in fact , slightly depressed, and if it were not for this week of peace, then i probably would have lost my mind and gone quite insane. I already actually am slightly insane, but not quite that insane. A weird thing that's been happening lately....whenever I get kind of depressed, I talk to this imaginary therapist in my head. I'm not sure where it came from, but i have an idea. basically the therapist in my head never answers back, mostly it's just me presuming he/she ( i actually imagined a she) asked a question or something. Actually no, it's just me tell them stuff and i'm not sure if they're actually sympathetic to me, or if they're justn ot listening. Mostly it's just me getting everythign out. This reminds me of the book we read in the beginning of the year, The Catcher in the Rye where the boy does all these weird/random things when he gets depressed. I really hated him when i read the book because he was a sarcastic, synnical, lying little punk. But then i realize that we have a lot in common. I don't think i'm as bad a kid as he is in some =aspects, but we're both quite misunderstood by our families and we do certain things just to get some attention, not thinking whether or not that attention would be good or bad. I am also reminded of another book our english group attempted to read last year, A Confederacy of Dunces written by John Kennedy Toole. It truly was a horrible book in my opinion, because people have to want to keep reading the book once they start it, and i had no urge or any sort to continue reading. I think i mentioned that in one of my previous notebooks. Anyway, I read the first couple of chapters, which was quite enough, and pretty much got the gist of the story. Basically it's about Ignatious (or whatever his name was - you can go look it up), an OVERWEIGHT EGOTISTICAL FOOL who is cynnical and critical of the society and people around him. Through his dialougue you can see that he regards himself to be more superior in intellect and sense than everyone else as he questions the things they do using his one-sided logic. But reading the entire story, even if some things aren't understood, the reader can easily see that Ignatious is just a loser against his society probably because he is outcast from it. I remember there was a quote somewhere near the beginning. And I don't remember exactly what it said, but it said something like, "you can know a true genius when all the dunces are in confederacy with him" i guess that's kind of true? well, not really. the dunces would probably be following him like lemmings. wow i'm picking everything apart. I'm not different than that sometimes. But i don't want to end up a loser. As far as i'm concerned, i'm not one yet. At least, I don't think so. Or rather, I hope not? I was talking to my friend Erin a long time ago, and we were discussing the MAXIMUM RIDE books, and she said we could be book critics when we grow up. I didn't think anything of it then, but after writing this (incredibly looong, i just noticed) entry, I think i probably might like to do that! hehehe. I like books. LIke i said. It turns out, this entry has almost nothing to do with new years. Except that of course, today is new year's. so yep. i thnk i forgot everything else that i was supposed to say.